Things I Eat

Honey Cookies

2008-07-22T01:17:00.004-04:00

My girlfriend made these really good cookies tonight. She said they were called honey cookies. They were the kind of cookies that you roll out and cut into shapes. We only have one cookie cutter in our apartment so all of the cookies were shaped like an apple. They reminded me of some cookies that my mom's friend made when I was pretty young. Sometimes she would come over and I would make the cookies with her. My mom's friend had these alphabet shaped cookie cutters that she used to make the cookies. Either that or maybe my mom had the alphabet shaped cookie cutters and my mom's friend just used them when she came over. My girlfriend made her cookies with honey and brown sugar, but I'm pretty sure that my mom's friend used molasses and normal sugar. The main similarities are that the cookies are both very crispy on the edge and a little chewy in the middle and also that they both have spices like cinnamon and nutmeg in them. The other similarity is that they both have a little flour left on the edge from when they were rolled out and cut up.

Honey Cookies: A
Cookies From 20 Years Ago: A

Cracker Trax

2008-04-06T21:06:00.004-04:00

The other day a friend of mine came over with snack that he had recently purchased. It was a bag of the newly introduced Cheetos Brand Cracker Trax. The outside of the package features a lip licking Chester Cheetah using a magnifying glass to examine a pile of paw shaped crackers. It also features a green circle with a check mark in it as well as the words "Smart Choices Made Easy". Before opening the bag up I already had my doubts. I suspected that Cracker Trax might resemble the Xtra Cheddar variety of Pepperidge Farm's Flavor Blasted Goldfish, a snack that I do not like. I opened the bag and tried a cracker. I frowned. I tried a couple more. They tasted like crackers that had been removed from a bag of snack mix and shaken up with a package of Kraft Easy Mac powder. They weren't outright awful, just wildly unappealing. Why anyone at the Cheetos company would go to the effort of developing and releasing these is beyond me. If they were sitting in a bowl in front of me I'm sure I would eat them, but Cracker Trax are the kind of snack that no one asked for and no one is satisfied by. Still they do contain such ingredients as Distilled Monoglyceride, Monosodium Glutimate, Sodium Phosphate, Ammonium Bicarbonate, Disodium Inosinate, Disodium Guanylate, and Potassium Sorbate, so they are a smart choice made easy.

Cheetos Brand Cracker Trax: D

Mexican Pepsi

2008-03-30T16:30:00.002-04:00

As I was making the fairly long walk to my bank the other day something on the ground caught my attention. The something in question was a scratched up metal bottle cap with the Pepsi logo on it. I recognized it as a cap belonging to a glass bottle of Mexican Pepsi. I stopped in my tracks. I love glass bottles of Mexican Pepsi and I took this cap as evidence that they were for sale somewhere nearby. I looked up and down the block for a likely suspect. There was not Mexican bodega in sight. I frowned. Perhaps this cap came from somewhere far away. Perhaps it was thrown out of a car. I resumed walking and resigned myself to disappointment.

No sooner had I accepted that there would be no Mexican Pepsi in my near future than I crossed the street and noticed, to my right, a Mexican bodega. As soon as I saw it I knew that they would have what I wanted. I went in, walked back to the drink section, and found a refrigerated case full of glass bottled drinks. In addition to Pepsi they had several other kinds of sodas to choose from, including Coke, Sidral Mundet (a sparkling apple juice soda of which I am also a fan), and Jarritos. Despite the fairly wide selection I knew it was Pepsi that I was after. I purchased two bottles and exited the store.

I would have to wait to drink my bottles of Pepsi because they require a bottle opener to open and I did not have one on me. I completed my banking and returned home. I opened up a bottle and drank it as I wrote my post about the slice of pizza Focaccina Pizzeria & Espresso Bar. I thought to myself, as I took a break from writing my pizza post, that everything about glass bottled Mexican Pepsi is better than its American counterpart. More important than the aesthetic, which might be the first thing one noticed about it, is the taste. It's slightly less carbonated than American Pepsi, which results in a mellower feel as you drink it. The flavor itself is more complex -- almost spiced tasting -- and less syrupy than American Pepsi. Finally, it does not have a lingering plastic or metal aftertaste. One could say all of these things about glass bottled Mexican Coke, which I also also appreciate, but I just don't like the flavor quite as much.

It will cost you $1.25 for a 355ml bottle, but I think it's worth that and more for such a great tasting soda.

Mexican Glass Bottled Pepsi: A+

Doritos COLLISIONS

2008-03-28T10:08:00.005-04:00

What if, I have often asked myself, the flavors of a zesty taco and chipotle ranch dressing collided? Well, the other night I got the chance to find out. I had just eaten some Thai food with my girlfriend and a friend of mine, but I was still hungry. Before getting on the subway to head home, I suggested that we stop in a corner store to see if they had any Doritos. We entered the establishment and made our way to the chip section. My eyes passed over the traditional Doritos varieties and were drawn to Doritos COLLISIONS. The idea behind this new product is simple. The Doritos company puts it this way: "With 2 BOLD flavors in 1 bag, you control the ultimate DORITOS flavor combination." They go on to ask, "What COLLISIONS combo will you unleash?" What COLLISIONS combo indeed! Luck would have it that the two colliding flavors available were Zesty Taco and Chipotle Ranch! I promptly purchased the bag for 99 cents.

I opened up the bag an selected a chip that looked more likely to be Zesty Taco flavored. I ate the chip. It tasted exactly like a taco if all the ingredients of a taco had been freeze dried, ground into a powder, mixed with monosodium glutamate, and applied to a corn chip. Despite the uncanny nature of the taco flavor I enjoyed the chip. My girlfriend and other friend also tried a Zesty Taco chip and agreed that the flavor of an actual zesty taco was harnessed. I next tried a Chipotle Ranch chip. This one tasted very much like a normal Doritos Cooler Ranch chip to me. I took a look at the ingredient list and found no mention of chipotle peppers. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Doritos produced too many Cooler Ranch chips recently and had to find an outlet for them. Still, I do like Doritos Cooler Ranch flavor chips well enough. I had no trouble eating the majority of the bag of chips, of both flavors, while waiting for the train.

Zesty Taco chips: B
"Chipotle" Ranch chips: B-

Focaccina Pizzeria & Espresso Bar

2008-03-26T20:48:00.004-04:00

There's a pizza shop around the corner from me that, before today, I had never tried. It's called Focaccina Pizzeria & Espresso Bar. For some reason it is designed like it is from the future. Outside it has a big tinted blue picture of Times Square. On top of the picture of Times Square, seemingly floating above it, haloed in white light, is a very flat pepperoni pizza with very evenly spaced pepperoni. Inside the restaurant everything is bright white or orange, including some uncomfortable looking futuristic stools.

I had noticed the place a few times before, but it is in the opposite direction of my normal walk to the subway and as a result I usually don't think to go there. Today however I was at home and hungry and I remembered the place. I decided to give it a shot. I walked over and, upon entering, noticed that there was no pizza by the slice on display. I approached the woman at the counter and asked if they had pizza by the slice. She said that yes they did and it was two dollars for a plain slice. I said that a plain slice sounded fine and I handed over my money. She told me to take a seat because it would be just a minute.

I took a seat and she disappeared into the back. A few moments later she returned with another employee who frowned at the oven for a second before going outside. This second employee soon returned with a third employee, both of whom disappeared into the back. The woman at the counter smiled at me and gave me a gesture that indicated it would be just one minute.

A couple minutes later the second and third employee came back. I didn't see what they did, but a minute after that the woman called me over and handed me my pizza. One look at the slice was enough to cause concern. I took the it over to the condiment counter to doctor it up. I covered the much too white cheese with oregano, parmesan, and pepper flakes. I left the store to walk back home and eat my slice.

Once outside I took a bite and with that bite I realized that one should never say never. I thought I had already eaten the worst slice of pizza in New York at a place called Café Amore. It was, to be sure, a close race, but I am convinced that this slice from Focaccino was, in fact, worse. There was nothing right with the pizza from Café Amore, but it wasn't nearly as downright sickening. Additionally, in contrast to the enigmatic origins of my slice today, at least I could see where the pizza from Café Amore had been sitting for hours and hours.

The slice from Focaccino seemed as though it had been languishing in a college dorm room refrigerator for a week before being warmed over in a microwave allowed to cool and then warmed over again. The sauce had permeated the crust to the extent that there was no freestanding sauce at all. The crust was gummy all the way through until you got to the limp cardboard-like bottom. The cheese was below school cafeteria caliber and extremely greasy. I didn't get through more than a third of the slice before I was compelled the throw it away

All in all a revolting experience.

Their website proclaims that they make "brick over pizza for the new century". I'm not sure why a new century would require a different type of brick oven pizza, but, if it does, I would argue for at least some of the elements of the previous century's brick oven pizza to be incorporated.

Plain Slice from Focaccina Pizzeria & Espresso Bar: F--

Diner is Served

2007-12-07T16:48:00.000-05:00

I was in Los Angeles recently and, despite the fact that there are, no doubt, thousands of restaurants in that fair city I ate mostly at the same four restaurants. The establishments in question are Swingers of Hollywood, Swingers of Santa Monica, Brite Spot, and Fred 62. If you are familiar with Los Angeles eateries you may notice that these places, in one main respect -- namely that they are all slightly upscale diners -- are very similar. Nevertheless, as I will describe below, I found substantial differences between them.

My culinary research started the night I flew in with Swingers of Hollywood. I had been there, as well as the Swingers of Santa Monica, a few times on a previous visit. What I really wanted was to go to the one in Santa Monica, but it was too far away and so I settled for the Hollywood version. I was considering ordering the fried egg sandwich, which, on the previous visit, I had found to be very good. At this moment my dining companion, someone whose cookies I had once stolen, told me that the sandwich had been altered since I last had it. In the past it had been served on a toasted bagel, whereas now it was served on normal toasted bread. I discarded the idea of trying this new incarnation of an old favorite. I searched the rest of the menu and came upon the vegetarian burger. A few moments later the waitress arrived. I ordered the vegetarian burger while my companion ordered a brownie sundae. As the waitress walked away I lamented that I had not ordered cheese on my vegetarian variation of the American classic. I expressed this sentiment to my companion and then made my way to the restroom. Upon my return I was informed that cheddar cheese had been ordered on my behalf. A good thing too as I was soon to discover. The burger was a poorly constructed hodgepodge of grains and beans and peas or something. Only the cheese and the other toppings saved the thing from being a total loss. By the time I was halfway through the burger was falling apart. A knife and fork were required to consume the rest. Simultaneous to this I ate my mashed potatoes, which were a good deal better than the burger. In retrospect I think I might have done better to discard the patty and replace it with mashed potatoes. Not ideal certainly, but the same could be said of the patty. Meanwhile, my companion seemed to enjoy his brownie sundae.

The next day I found myself alone at Swingers of Santa Monica. I was there to kill time and my intent was to have a cup of coffee. I was about to order the very same when I noticed a good deal. The offer that I couldn't refuse was $3.99 for two pancakes, an egg (any style), and sausage. I inquired if they had vegetarian sausage and discovered that they did. I put in my order and checked my watch. I hoped that my meal would come quickly because, while I had ample time for coffee, a whole breakfast was stretching the point. The food arrived, if not quickly, at least quicker than it might have. I scarfed down the pancakes, eggs (scrambled), and vegetarian sausage more or less all mixed together and covered in syrup. I found it all to be pretty okay.

Only a few hours elapsed before I once again darkened the doorstep of Swingers of Santa Monica. This time my companion from the previous evening elected to join me. I was still full of pancakes, eggs, and vegetarian sausage, but I ordered a small Greek salad anyway. This proved to be disappointing. My first charge against it was that the plate was much too small. The salad called to mind a brave but overweight daredevil perched atop a flagpole. If it was absolutely left alone one supposed that it might have gone on as it was for some time, but the moment another element was introduced, say a fork, ever so lightly applied to an olive, it seemed preordained that a good deal of the leafy greens and onions would find themselves scattered in the surrounding area. And, as the wheels of fate inevitably turned, it was so. Setting aside this complaint and getting to the meat, if that's what it ought to be called, of the matter, my opinion did not greatly improve. I won't say that the salad should have been offered for free on a discount airline, but it was a near thing. The greens were about a day past their prime, the onions were strong and nothing else, the feta was dry, and the dressing was bland. Had I paid three or four dollars I would have felt alright, but the price tag was more in the neighborhood of seven dollars. I had seen enough of Swingers for a while.

At this juncture my narrative continues at Fred 62, a place with somewhat questionable decor. The overall theme was seemed to be informed by rockabilly nostalgia for the early 1960s seen through the lens of a mall food court. Despite my misgivings regarding the ambiance I sat down across from two other hungry souls with high hopes. Those hungry souls alluded to in the previous sentence were friends who lived in the neighborhood and who assured me that Fred 62's food was nothing to scoff at. Without much hesitation I selected what was billed as a "hippie sandwich" with French fries on the side. The sandwich was served on round bread and while I don't recall all of the layers betwixt these two starchy circles I will say that I immediately dolled out high marks. As best as I can recall there were sprouts, avocado, tomatoes, and some kind of cheese. The French fries we served in a small brown paper bag. I'm not exactly sure what use the paper bag had, but the fries were good, if not great. I was my opinion that the food at Fred 62 could best the food at Swingers with one hand tied behind its back.

Next up was Brite Spot. Actually it was called "Alexander's Brite Spot". I don't know if that implies that other restaurants of the same moniker exist elsewhere, but if so I could hardly expect them to have the charm on exhibit at Alexander's branch. The booths were comfortable and the decor was nostalgic without straying into the realm of kitsch. This, if I were to guess, was the result of doing nothing to update the place for the past 30 or 40 years. In any case, I was very hungry and I was glad to see that the menu offered many options in the way of sustenance. Aside from the usual diner selections there was also a page devoted to Mexican choices. It was from this bill of fare that I ordered. A few minutes later a breakfast burrito was set down in front of me. My first impression was that it looked too plain. It came unadorned on a large oval plate. A few seconds later my spirits rose when salsa and sour cream were added to the food in front of me. I applied the toppings and gave the burrito a hearty try. I found it to be more or less alright, but lacking in any real inspiration. The eggs tasted like eggs and the beans like beans. The cheese, which can propel the breakfast burrito to great heights, was a non factor. If it tasted like anything at all I didn't notice.

A second round at Fred 62 was in the cards for me. This time for breakfast. Casting aside a brief thought of ordering a breakfast sandwich I ordered up a plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and hash browns. These came in short order and I am pleased to say that they were very good. I don't want to take my praise too far because this trio of venerable standards is difficult to prepare incorrectly. The two things that set this version apart were that the hash browns were extra crispy and that the toast, much like the bread from my so-called hippie sandwich, was round.

My odyssey ends, in a way, as it began. That is to say that it ends with my desire to order a good fried egg sandwich. I did that very thing upon my second visit to Alexander's Brite Spot. Possibly there may have been a side item served with my sandwich, but I don't recall. My attention was focused on one of the best fried egg sandwiches I have ever eaten. Each aspect of it was not just good, but great. The bread, sourdough I believe, was toasted just short of golden brown. The egg was fried right to the point where it was thoroughly cooked, but not dry. All of that was well enough, but where it truly diverted from the ordinary fried egg sandwich was the inclusion of lettuce and tomato. And not just any lettuce and tomato, but a beautifully green crisp leaf of lettuce and two or three thin slices of flavorful tomato. All these elements worked in concert to bring me the experience that I had been searching for my whole trip.

Swingers of Hollywood
Fried Egg Sandwiches Not Offered on a Bagel: F
Vegetarian Burger: D
Cheese and Toppings: B
Mashed Potatoes: A-
Dining Companion's Brownie Sundae (estimated): A-
Swingers of Hollywood: C-

Swingers of Santa Monica
Pancakes: B
Scrambled Eggs: B
Vegetarian Sausage: B+
Covering Everything in Syrup: A-
Good Deal on Breakfast: B+
Greek Salad: C-
Size of Plate on Which Greek Salad Was Served: F
Price of Greek Salad: F
Swingers of Santa Monica: C+

Fred 62
Decor: D
Hippie Sandwich: A
French Fries: B+
Scrambled Eggs: B
Hash Browns: A
Toast: A-
Fred 62: B+

Alexander's Brite Spot
Decor: A-
Breakfast Burrito: C+
Fried Egg Sandwich: A+
Possible Side with Fried Egg Sandwich: ?
Alexander's Brite Spot: A-

Citerella Salad

2007-07-03T19:10:00.000-04:00

I had a salad the other day. I had to go out of my way to get it. I purchased this salad in large part because I've been working at the same place for two years and I've gotten tired of most of the fast and cheap options in the neighborhood. I can't count the times I've had pizza, bagels, falafel, and most other things in the nearby blocks. In short: The eateries on offer are old hat.

It was with great joy then that I received word from a coworker that a gourmet grocery store a few blocks north had good preprepared salads. I was also informed by this same individual that the salads, while not cheap, were not outrageously expensive. I looked forward to the moment when I might have the opportunity to purchase such a salad.

The chance came around three in the afternoon one day when I found myself hungry and with a lull in the work I had to do. I remembered the conversation with my coworker as I made the short jaunt up north for my purchase. I wondered what the salads would look like. Would they be large or small? Would they have any cheese in them? What dressings would they have?

I entered the establishment, a ritzy place called Citerella, and made my way past the olive bar to where the salads were located. I saw that I had a number of choices. A couple salads contained meat and so I disregarded those immediately. A woman next to me was examining the standard salad with cherry tomatoes, yellow and red peppers, and onions. After a few moments of looking she set the salad down and walked away. I decided she was right about the standard salad. I considered for a moment a Mediterranean salad, but it looked a little insubstantial. In the end I selected a spinach and blue cheese salad. On my way up to the register I also picked up an "olive pocket", which looked like a roll with a bunch of olives on the inside.

Back at work I sat down, ready to enjoy my lunch. I took a bite of the olive pocket first. It was more or less what I expected: Bread and lots of olives. Next I opened up my salad. For a second after I opened it, and no more than a second, everything seemed fine. After that a smell reached me. It was the smell of spoiled spinach. I took a closer look at the salad. Some of the spinach looked alright, but at least half of it had dark edges. Some was dried and yet moist, thin and fragile and slimy. I took a closer smell. I didn't like it at all.

I checked a clock and saw that I wouldn't have enough time to go back to the store. I frowned. I was going to have to make the best of the salad. I set about picking out the bad spinach as best as I could and then poured all of the dressing, blue cheese, and croutons onto what remained. Even having taken these measures the spoiled spinach taste reared its head. Each bite, while not revolting, had that slightly sour aftertaste. I poked through a little more and got rid of a few more suspicious leaves. Still, it wouldn't suffice. What I had on my hands was a bad salad. I ate a few pieces of the blue cheese, which was okay. I closed up the salad container and ate the rest of the olive pocket. I went back to work, still hungry and feeling a little queasy at the thought of food.

Spinach Salad: F
Blue Cheese: B
Olive Pocket: B
Queasy Feeling: D
Coworker's Advice: D-
Overall Experience: D

Red Vines

2007-03-26T14:29:00.000-04:00

I, as many of you readers may know, grew up in Portland, OR. Near my house was a pharmacy that sold candy and other miscellaneous items. One of the best items that they sold were Red Vines. They came in 5 oz. packages and cost 89¢. A few years later the bad news was that the pharmacy closed, but the good news was that I could purchase Red Vines elsewhere. And purchase them I did. All throughout middle school and high school I ate Red Vines on a regular basis.

During college I was located in North Carolina where Red Vines were somewhat more difficult to find. Then I moved to New York where not only is it hard to find Red Vines, but some people haven't even heard of Red Vines. Not a single deli or bodega or candy stand has them. Once in a while you'll see them at a big grocery store, but otherwise they are not to be found.

About a week ago my girlfriend bought me a 4 pound tub of Red Vines from Target. This is one of the best gifts I have ever gotten. I have eaten about half of them so far and I'm not tired of them at all. Everything about them is great. They're a little softer than the ones in the 5 oz. packages usually are and they have that same singular taste that Red Vines always have.

Availability of Red Vines in New York City: D-
4 lb. Tub of Red Vines: A

Ice Cream Cone from Baskin-Robbins

2007-03-22T16:07:00.000-04:00

Today I was looking forward to getting an ice cream cone for two reasons. The first reason was that I had a dream about ice cream last night. The second reason was that I had a five dollar bill in my wallet that I got as change the other day that I've been wanting to get rid of ever since. The bill had large spot of thick brown goo on the upper right hand corner. This brown goo might have been melted chocolate or it might have been something much less pleasant. In any case, about an hour ago I strolled into a Baskin-Robbins with this five dollar bill ready to spend.

I looked over the ice cream choices and ordered up mint chocolate chip on a sugar cone. The trouble started almost immediately. The Baskin-Robbins employee handed me my cone before I had my money ready. I accepted the cone as I fished, one-handed, for my wallet. I managed to get it out and hand her the five. She made change and handed it to me. I abandoned the idea of putting my change neatly in my wallet and decided to stuff it for the time being in my hip pocket. I exited the store.

Once outside my attention shifted to the ice cream cone itself. While it certainly looked tasty, there was a big problem. Nearly half of the ice cream was affixed, for the moment, to the upper side of the cone. I don't mean the ice cream was piled high and leaning. I mean the ice cream was wildly uneven and well over one side of the cone. I mean that a quick tap to this precariously attached mass would send it plopping to the ground. I looked up at the numerous passersby on the busy sidewalk. I looked back to my cone. This promised to be embarrassing.

Because of the ice cream's uneven contours it was difficult to know how to bite into it or lick it without either toppling the whole thing or getting a bunch of it on my nose. I managed to get a couple good bites in, but the situation deteriorated fast. Ice cream was beginning to stream down the side of the cone and get on my fingers. A drop fell onto the cuff of my pants. I held the cone away from my body so as to avoid further drops hitting my pants. I began walking home as I redoubled my efforts to eat away at the danger zone.

Within a block I had succeeded at little more than coating my hands in melted ice cream. A new tactic was in order. I tried to push the drooping mass to a better position, but this resulted in the whole thing becoming even more unstable. All I could do was eat away at it and hope for the best. As I did this I realized for the first time how good the ice cream tasted. This realization was worse than if it was a lost cause from a taste perspective. Knowing how much I might enjoy the ice cream in other circumstances added insult to injury.

In another minute I managed to eat all of the ice cream on outside of the cone. At this point I encountered another problem. I needed to remove the paper wrapper around the cone. I tugged on it gently, but I couldn't get it started. I tugged a little more and it gave. I peeled it most of the way off before I noticed that in its wake it left a thin trail of paper still attached to the cone. Another pass at it and I removed this too. I threw away the mass of sticky paper that I had removed from the cone. I glanced down at my hopelessly sticky hands before biting into the cone.

Although the cone was good, and filled with delicious ice cream, I ate it with minimal enjoyment. I frowned as I ate the last bite. I shouldn't have gotten a cone. Or I should have gotten a waffle cone. Or I should have gotten a brownie sundae like I really wanted in my dream about ice cream.

Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream: A-
How Ice Cream Was Configured on Cone: F
Sticky Hands: F
Getting Ice Cream on Cuff of Pants: D-
Not Getting Brownie Sundae: D
Overall Experience: D-

Ice Cream Dream

2007-03-22T12:16:00.000-04:00

I just woke up from a dream about ice cream. In the dream I was craving ice cream of any kind, but more than anything I wanted vanilla ice cream with a brownie. I walked into a shop that sold it, but it cost $6.75! I couldn't afford such an extravagant price so I walked out. I found a Baskin-Robbins, but all they had was strawberry. Even though strawberry is one of my least favorite flavors I decided to get it anyway. I walked out of the place with a cone in hand. After a couple bites I had to stop. The ice cream was too sweet. I put the cone and the ice cream in my bag for later. I spotted another ice cream shop. As it turns out the place was run by the guy who runs my local bodega. I saw that he had some kind of fudge/peanut butter/brownie ice cream and I got excited. I ordered it. He said he was out of that kind even though I saw it right there. He told me to look closer and when I did I saw that what I thought was ice cream was actually bran muffins all squished together. I asked for mint chocolate chip instead and he gave it to me in a cone. I took one taste and it was great. I thought it only cost $2.10, but now he was asking for $4.35. I realized that I had also bought some hot chocolate without my realizing it. I fumbled around for my money and to do so I put the ice cream and the hot chocolate in my bag. I paid up and walked away. I opened up my bag to get the ice cream out. In the bag were not only the two cones and the hot chocolate, but also a half finished Slurpee, an empty unused Slurpee cup, and a melted quart of vanilla ice cream. I found a trash can and threw away the cups, my first ice cream cone, and the melted vanilla, but now my hands were all sticky. That's the last thing I remember. The upshot of all this dream ice cream is that I plan to get a real ice cream cone later today.

Too-Sweet Strawberry Dream Ice Cream: D
Taste of Mint Chocolate Chip Dream Ice Cream: A-
Sticky Things in Bag: F
Overall Dream Experience: C-
Real Ice Cream Cone (projected): B+

Too Many Fritos

2007-03-20T18:02:00.000-04:00

Boy, I just ate way too may Fritos brand SCOOPS! Corn Chips. I already had a sandwich, but I was still hungry so I decided to eat some Fritos and hummus. After a few chips dipped in the hummus I started to feel like it wasn't the ideal combination. I love eating hummus, but it just wasn't going well with Fritos. I think pita bread or even potato chips are a lot better. Anyway, I put the hummus away and got out some Tostitos chunky salsa (medium hot). I proceeded to eat about twenty chips dipped in salsa. Before I knew it I had eaten way too many for comfort. I put the chips and the salsa away. The idea of eating chips and salsa seems horrible to me now. I brushed my teeth, but I still have a lingering taste, and even worse, a lingering feeling of those Fritos. Hopefully I'll feel better about them tomorrow because there's still quite a few left and it would be a shame for them to go to waste.

Fritos B+
Fritos and Hummus C-
Fritos and Tostitos Salsa A-
Too Many Fritos D
Lingering Fritos Feeling F
Overall Experience D+

Guest Blogger: Rebecca Katz

2007-01-22T18:07:00.000-05:00

Working as a server at the Retirement Center has taught me several things about eating from a kitchen that is not your own:
1. Never trust food being served to you by a teenager.
2. Employees working at the RC often play by the motto, "Eh, It's clean enough"
and
3. The RC kitchen is one of the dirtiest places this side of the
Mississippi.

That being said, I have eaten at my place of employment many times. Today was one of those days. Working from 7am to 1pm, I was at the RC for breakfast and lunch. It being Sunday, we were serving French toast. Now I find it important to tell you that the bread that we always use for this meal claims to be "Texas Toast." This irks me because there is nothing Texas about it besides that it is bigger, faker, and more obnoxious looking than the other breads. Anyway, at about 8 o'clock I eyed the leftover French toast with disdain and decided, like always, to skip it and dine on cream of wheat. I seasoned said creamed wheat with salt, brown sugar, and half and half the way my grandmother used to make it. I eagerly dove in. While the extras were nothing short of delicious the sticky consistency of the cream of wheat put me off. When I stirred it around it all clumped together into one extremely unappetizing mass, which was disappointing, but not unexpected. Dissatisfied... again. I scraped out my bowl with higher hopes for lunch.

As lunchtime rolled around, the cook decided to make tomato basil soup and cold ham sandwiches. I was excited because the sandwiches at the RC are usually pretty good and the cook let me make them. After completing my sandwich I decided that while good, the bread was so soft that it sticks to your teeth a little and the ham was cut too thick for my liking. Like the French toast I promptly decided to skip the soup as there were canned tomato chucks which I do not like in the least. All in all the day was disappointing food-wise, but I didn't have to peel 30 potatoes like I usually do, so I was satisfied.

As an aside, I think it is important to state that all the cooks at the RC are great while the supplies and budget are, well, not so much...

Sticky, Plain Cream of Wheat: D
Cream of Wheat Extras: A+
Ham sandwich: B
Sticky bread: C-
Tomato chunks: F
Not having to peel potatoes: A++

The Masterpiece

2006-12-14T05:28:00.000-05:00

It's not very often you encounter a masterpiece of any type. Of course there are all kinds and sometimes it's hard to spot one when it's right in front of you. Such was the case tonight. On my subway ride home, a few minutes after discarding the tepid remains of a slice of pizza, I realized that the slice in question was a masterpiece. Sadly, the nature of its work was not greatness, it was awfulness. It was, without a doubt, the worst slice of pizza I've ever had.

Events were set in motion at 2:57am when I hurried to leave work so that I could rush over to the nearby Joe's Pizza just before they closed at 3am. I exited work with what I thought was just enough time. I eagerly imagined the delicious slice that awaited me. Upon arriving at Joe's I discovered that I was too late. The door was locked and the employees were busy in the endeavor to close the place down. I sadly shuffled away towards the subway.

My journey to the subway was cut short when I noticed that Cafe Amore, another local pizza establishment, was still open for business. A little more than a year ago, when Cafe Amore first opened I went in to give their plain cheese slice a try. The plain slice left a good deal to be desired. It was bad enough, I recalled, to warn others to avoid it. Still, I wanted a slice of pizza and Cafe Amore seemed to be my only option.

With some trepidation I opened the door and went inside. I looked over the six or seven pies on display. None looked particularly appetizing, but, I told myself, pizza is always edible at worst. I decided that, since the plain cheese slice was no good, I would give the fresh mozzarella slice a try. I got the attention of the employee behind the counter and placed my order.

He slid my slice in the oven. I went over to the cash register and was informed that I owed $3.25. As I brought the money out of my wallet and handed it over I silently mused that Joe's only charges $2.25 for their fresh mozzarella slice. That said, the slice was rather large. Perhaps, I theorized, you got what you paid for.

A minute later the man behind the counter passed me my slice and I walked out the door. I paused to take a bite. It was awful.

The mozzarella was too thick by half. I would hazard a guess that it measured nearly a centimeter through. The flavor called to mind that of cheese peeled off the top of old refrigerated lasagna. The consistency was that of extra firm tofu, while the texture was almost mealy. Moreover, it was thickly crusted over on top like an open can of paint that's been sitting around for a week.

I resumed walking to the subway. Despite the quality of the mozzarella I pressed on in eating my slice. After all, I had paid $3.25 for it. On the second bite I realized that this was a new low in crust. Just for starters it was limp and tasteless. Sauce had permeated it, thus making all but the very edge moist and gooey. Additionally, the bottom was burnt and powdered with too much flour.

The sauce itself was an abomination. To be fair it was hard to tell because there was more sauce in the crust than on top of it, but it more closely resembled V8 (no slight to V8 in its proper place by the way) than it did pizza sauce. If there were herbs in it I didn't see or taste them.

As I walked down the stairs to the train I considered my situation. The pizza was altogether wretched, yes, but I remembered my $3.25 again and resolved to try a new tactic. I peeled off half of the sweaty blob of cheese that besmirched the marsh-like surface and threw it away. I folded the remaining portion of the slice in half in an effort to create a makeshift calzone.

I gagged down several bites of this new horror before I gave up. Making the most of $3.25 wasn't worth it. I pitched the remains in a trashcan and took a seat to wait for my train.

After a few minutes my train came. As I rode home I reflected upon my slice of pizza. There wasn't a single good thing about it. In my head I listed off the characteristics of pizza. In each category I could not recall a worse attempt. Barring size, a dubious attribute in this case, every single thing with that could be wrong with pizza was wrong. It was, in a way, a masterpiece. It had achieved excellence in awfulness in an unprecedented and unfathomable way. It put CiCi's Pizza Buffet, the previous champion of awfulness, to shame. It was not only the worst pizza I've ever had it was also some of the worst food I've ever had.

"Fresh" Mozzarella Slice from Cafe Amore: F-

Thanksgiving

2006-12-07T06:15:00.000-05:00

A few days have passed since you consumed those last, possibly spoiled, Thanksgiving leftovers. Perhaps you suspected that 2006's Thanksgiving had nothing more to offer. Well dear reader, just when such the situation seemed nearly certain I present you with one more gift of the season: A rundown of what I ate on Thanksgiving.

My Thanksgiving started out early. I went to see, starting out at 10:25am, three movies with a friend and temporary roommate of mine. I intended to bring a package of Smoothie Mix Skittles that I had purchased the night before, but I forgot them at home (I discovered later that someone had already eaten half of them anyway). I silently lamented my lack of Skittles on the walk from the train to the theater, when my friend noticed a Starbucks ahead. He declared that he was going to get a mocha and I followed him inside. Once inside, despite the distaste I have for Starbucks, I noticed a tempting looking croissant. I checked my wallet and discovered enough cash to make the purchase. I did so and a minute later my friend and I walked outside. I tried my croissant and found it to be pretty good. It was flaky on the outside and soft on the inside, a mark of any croissant worth eating. One element I didn't like was that it tasted too buttery. Not much too buttery, but slightly too buttery.

A minute later we found ourselves outside the theater, me having finished my croissant, but my friend still having most of his mocha. We bought our tickets and my friend smuggled his mocha inside. As we waited for the first movie to start my friend offered me a sip of his mocha and I accepted. The drink was delicious. The right balance of coffee and chocolate had been struck. Coupled with the correct thickness it made for a superior mocha.

The early part of the day slipped away quickly, with no further culinary experiences occurring. Then, as we took our seats for what we had agreed would be the last movie of the day, my friend said that he was going out to the concession stand to see what was on offer. I pointed out that spending hard earned cash at a movie theater's concession stand was wasteful at best, but he paid no heed. Two minutes (and eleven dollars, as I came to find out) later he returned with an enormous bucket of popcorn and a large Coke. I sampled both of these and found them to be standard.

Having finished our movies we made our way back to my apartment so I could pick up wine prior to heading over to another friend's apartment for dinner. On the way we stopped off at a grocery store where my friend purchased an Entenmann's vanilla-chocolate marbled loaf cake. Back at the apartment, as my friend plied off pieces of the cake with his fingers, I tried to convince him to come with me to the Thanksgiving dinner. He was too depressed he said, gulping down another hunk of cake, to go out into the cold and take a 45 minute train trip just to go to some dinner. It was Thanksgiving dinner though, I countered. He just shook his head and switched on the television. I broke off a piece of his cake, which I ate with reserved enjoyment as I exited the apartment.

I arrived at my friend's apartment to find her knee deep, as it were, in preparations. I offered to help, but she told me it was best that I just take a seat in the corner of the kitchen and talk to her. So I took up my station and opened one of the bottles of wine that I purchased, Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau 2006. I was about to pour two glasses when the only other expected guest arrived. I upped the number of glasses to three and we toasted. The wine was light, but not without pleasantly spicy notes -- a bit better than I had expected.

The other guest and I looked on as the meal took shape. All of the food in question was vegetarian as 1/3 of the attendees (myself) were vegetarian and remaining 2/3 claimed that they liked the vegetarian possibilities that Thanksgiving offered nearly as well as the turkeys of erstwhile family gatherings.

The savory smell of squash, stuffing, and mashed potatoes had filled the room. As our host boiled cranberries in orange juice and sugar, I peeked in the cupboard and took note of two promising looking pies, one pumpkin and one apple. I closed the cupboard and took a sip of wine.

In the final minutes of preparation the other guest and I were finally put to work. I set about chopping tomatoes for the salad while the other guest mixed up salad dressing. Across the small room our host slid a tray of stuffed butternut squash out of the oven. Dinner, she proclaimed, need only to be dished up to be done.

Our host had no dining room and so we brought all of the pots and bowls into the living room and set them on the floor. We gathered around them, plates in hand and took our first portions. I took a little bit of everything except for the salad, as, to my mind, green salad was no match for Thanksgiving specific fare.

I tried the mashed potatoes first. They were fantastic. They were creamy and smooth -- almost frothy -- without going so far in that direction as to loose the wonderful texture of potatoes. They were seasoned with just the right amount of garlic. I slid some of my cranberries over to the edge of the position the mashed potatoes held on my plate and tried the two combined. This also proved to be fantastic. The sweet and tart cranberries were an ideal complement to the potatoes. For good measure I tried the cranberries on their own, where they asserted that they did not need mashed potatoes to be enjoyed.

I next tried the stuffed squash. The squash itself was unimpressive though inoffensive -- a more or less neutral vessel for the stuffing. The stuffing was fairly good. It consisted of large cubes of one-time crusty bread, hazel-nuts, celery, a fragrant combination of herbs, and vegetable broth. As I ate more of it I started to feel that, while good, something was missing. This subject was brought up and we all came to the conclusion that salt was the all-too-scarce ingredient. This was quickly righted, elevating the stuffing from the realm of commendable attempt into the realm of moderate success.

The other guest had brought, in addition to more wine, fennel raisin bread from a artisan bakery. I tried this next. It was good but, to my mind, not quite a spot-on compliment to the rest of the food. I decided to test this theory by dipping the bread in various things. It found no help from the cranberries, but the potatoes were somewhat of a different matter. Treating the potatoes as a dip for the bread resulted in a nice, though ultimately insubstantial, marriage.

I considered sampling the salad , but again it seemed unappealing. I went for a second helping of the previously tried dishes. I skipped the squash this time and opted instead to help myself to the contents of a large pan of the stuffing presented minus its marrowey counterpart.

The second go around was as good as the first, with the potatoes still leading the pack in deliciousness. Still, the stuffing and bread, perhaps due to the wine I had consumed in the interim, had gained some ground. After we had all eaten as much as we could of food at hand dessert was proposed. We agreed that waiting a bit would be he best idea.

We continued to drink wine and decided to watch the opening sequences from a box set of James Bond films we found in an absent roommate's collection. Goldeneye was clearly the best of these, with Dr. No making a strong case for itself if opening credits were your focus and The Living Daylights demanding not to be forgotten in the department of ill-conceived fiascoes.

A good hour later we ventured to try the pies. In the spirit of the holiday, and also because it looked better, all went for the pumpkin first. There was no whipped cream to be had so I plunged right in. The pie revealed itself to be no better or worse than many pumpkin pies no doubt baked that day throughout the country. It had all the right elements, but lacked a real spark to make it stand out. I wondered if the apple pie would be any better.

As it turned out I wasn't to discover the quality of the apple pie until the following day because, at this point, I was full to the point where I no longer found the prospect of eating pie enticing in the least. A little while later I said my goodbyes and thanked our host for a fun night. I made my way through heavy rain the few blocks over to another friend's apartment were I was dogsitting for the weekend. I decided to sleep there.

I woke up the next early afternoon feeling hungry. I called up my friend who had hosted the Thanksgiving dinner and asked if I might stop by for leftovers. She agreed and I told her I would be over in a few minutes.

A short time later I found my friend in her pyjamas watching reruns of America's Next Top Model and having some leftovers herself. After a sarcastic remark regarding her choice of television I got myself a plate, heaped on a pile of leftovers (disappointed to see that the potatoes had run out), and joined her on the couch. I ate and, as I had never previously seen America's Next Top Model, questioned my friend on how the show functioned. She explained and we both ate. The stuffing, though cold, had improved twice over since the previous night. Even before I added salt all of the flavors had, overnight, combined forces in perfect harmony. The herbs and vegetable broth had soaked into the bread in a way that last night's stuffing could only dream about. The hazel nuts provided a deft counterpoint to the softness of the rest of the dish.

The cranberries and pumpkin pie remained as they were the previous night. The salad, I decided with conviction, was to remain untried. This left the apple pie. Visually it was no great shakes. It was impossible to transport it from the pie dish to your plate with out it utterly collapsing. I took this as neither a portent to greatness nor an omen of disaster. A couple bites into the pie I knew that I quite liked it. There was a bold and pleasing abundance of nutmeg which is not too commonly found in apple pie.

All in all it was a great Thanksgiving. The dishes on the whole were above average and the company, though not mentioned in great detail here, was of the highest order.

As an aside, I was eating a package of Hershey's Kissables Brand "Candy Coated Mini Kisses" as I wrote this entry. I had never had them before. I enjoyed them slightly more than plain M&Ms, which I don't like very much.

No Fruit Smoothie Skittles: D
Croissant from Starbucks: B
Mocha from Starbucks: A-
Movie Coke: B
Movie Popcorn: C+
Entenmann's Vanilla-Chocolate Marbled Loaf Cake: C+
Georges Duboeuf's Beaujolais Nouveau 2006: A-
Mashed Potaoes: A+
Cranberries: A
Squash: C
Stuffing: B+
Fennel Raisin Bread: B
Pumpkin Pie: B
Salad (untried): C
No Day Old Mashed Potatoes: F
Day Old Stuffing: A
Day Old Cranberries: A
Day Old Pumpkin Pie: B
Day Old Apple Pie: A
Hershey's Kissables Brand "Candy Coated Mini Kisses": C+
Thanksgiving Food Overall: A-
Overall: B

B&H

2006-11-22T14:02:00.000-05:00

A new favorite restaurant of mine is B&H. Not B&H Photo, rather B&H Dairy, a tiny Jewish vegetarian diner located in Manhattan between 7th Street and St. Marks on 2nd Ave. I made my first trip there when I was killing time with a number of friends as we waited to head up to the Ziegfeld to see a midnight screening of Casino Royale. I had read about B&H online and when there was talk in the group of being hungry I insisted that we stop there and try it out. Despite skepticism from one or two people everyone agreed to go. A few minutes later we arrived and shuffled into the narrow space -- filling nearly half of the chairs and stools available. Menus and water were doled out. As I took a sip from my water glass I leaned back and studied what was on offer. Many appealing options presented themselves. I considered several soups of the day, potato pierogis, and the grilled cheese sandwich, but in the end I couldn't pass up the feta omelet -- a steal, I hoped -- at a mere $4.10.

A few minutes later my food was passed over the counter to me. Besides the omelet itself there were two slices of buttered challah and an enormous portion of home fries. The omelet was flavorful and featured plenty of cheese. The bread was crusty on the outside and soft on the inside. It tasted sort of like a challah/sourdough hybrid, which I found quite delicious. The home fries had large chunks of onions and peppers in them and were so good that I had to forgo ketchup, despite my intense love and overuse of the condiment.

As I ate I looked around at what everyone else got. A bearded friend of mine was enjoying four cheese pierogis, while another friend munched contentedly at a large plate of sauteed vegetables on a bed of brown rice. Everyone seemed to be satisfied with their order. I know I was. I still picked at the tempting remains of my home fries long after I was full from my generously portioned meal. As I left the B&H I smiled. I could add another place to the short list of restaurants that I love.

Feta Omelet: A-
Home Fries: A+
Challah: A-
Overall: A

Tab

2006-11-13T01:06:00.000-05:00

I've come to love Tab soda recently. It all started a couple months ago when I happened into my local Polish grocery store. In addition to "European Delights from Around the World", they also carry a wide selection of drinks, both alcoholic and otherwise. So I was in there perusing their selection of chilled sodas when I noticed that they carried cans of Tab. It occurred to me that I had never tried it. I had always had the impression that it didn't taste very good, but I decided that I wanted to find out for myself. I selected a likely looking can and took it up to the register to purchase. Upon leaving the establishment I popped open my can and began to walk home. I took a sip. I didn't like what I tasted. I took another sip. I didn't like that one either. I took another sip. That sip I liked a little better. I took another sip. I liked it. I took another sip. I loved it. I finished the can.

Over the next few days I found myself thinking often about when I might have another can of Tab. I made the trip up to the Polish grocery only to find it closed for the evening. I tried again the next day and met with success. I opened up this second can of Tab and enjoyed it even more. I was hooked. Since then I think about it a lot and I buy Tab any time I have the chance.

1st Sip: D+
2nd Sip: C-
3rd Sip: B-
4th Sip: B+
5th Sip: A
In Retrospect: A+

The Last Two Weeks of September

2006-10-01T19:19:00.000-04:00

As you may have noticed my updating of this blog could be described as sporadic at best. Please don't be alarmed. I have, despite not posting since September 16th, eaten things between then and now.

In this post I'll round up some of the best things I ate during the second half of September.

Vegetable Platter From Five Spot
Five Spot is an amazing soul food restaurant in Fort Green, Brooklyn. If I ate meat I'm sure I would love it even more, but as is I still find it delicious and dependable. The last time I ordered from there I got a vegetable platter with macaroni and cheese, candied yams, and potato salad. I don't even like candied yams, but these turned me around a bit. There were sweet, but not too sweet. They had just the right hint of spices. I found myself wondering if I was wrong about yams all this time. Next up was the potato salad. Simply put, it was the best potato salad I've ever had. No words can capture how much I liked it. Next, the macaroni and cheese was good, but not great. I like that it was baked and had crispy edges, but I would have liked it to be a little heavier on the cheese. Lastly, the platter came with a great piece of cornbread. I should also mention that the portions are absurdly huge. I dare anyone to order this vegetable plate and eat it all.
Candied Yams If You Don't Like Candied Yams: B
Candied Yams If You Liked Candied Yams: A+
Potato Salad: A+
Macaroni and Cheddar: B-
Cornbread: A
Portions: A+
Overall Experience: A

Crostini This Other Former Girlfriend of Mine Ate
Diner is a restarant housed in an old dining car in South Williamsburg. It serves a creative mix of upscale comfort food. I went there recently with another former girlfriend of mine (not the one who I went to Junior's with). I actually don't remember what I got, but what she got looked delicious. It was their crostini of the day and it involved chalky goat cheese, fresh peaches, basil, and vinegar. Judging by her reaction it tasted almost, but not quite, as good as it looked. I have not idea why I didn't ask to try it. Maybe I was so mesmerized by how good it looked that I forgot. Anyway, I regret it now and think about it quite often.
The Looks of the Crostini of the Day: A+
Former Girlfriends Opinion of Taste of Crostini of the Day (estimated): A-
My Projected Opinion of Taste of Crostini of the Day: A
Not Asking to Try It: F
Overall Experience: Incomplete

Corn Nuts
Somehow, probably because my parents shopped at a health food co-op, I had never heard of of Corn Nuts prior to 4th grade. Sometime in the fall of that school year our teacher had once again left her class to our own devices. She left all the time because she was having a rough breakup with her boyfriend and would go down the hall to use to the phone to talk to him. She would often be really upset after talking to him and would vanish for entire class periods. As a result a number of students would simply leave. Others, including myself, took to playing poker in the corner of the room. Not for real stakes you understand, but just for fun. It was on one of these days, after we had exhausted ourselves with innumerable hands, that I noticed one kid had a bag of ranch flavored Corn Nuts. He was crunching very loudly on them when I scooted over to him and asked him what he was eating. He showed me the bag and offered me one. I took him up on the offer and tried one. I wasn't sure what to make of it so I asked him for another. He obliged and I ate a second kernel of the toasted corn. I thanked him and scooted back to my spot, still wondering what I thought of this snack. After some reflection I decided that it was too crunchy. It hurt my teeth a little and it felt somewhat like I was actually eating teeth. I suppose I've had a few Corn Nuts here and there since then, but not too many. A couple days ago I thought about them for and decided to walk over to the CVS located near my work and purchase some. The only choice on offer was Original flavor, which suited me as I like to keep my snacks simple more often than not. I took them up the counter, handed over my 99 cents, and exited the store. I looked at the back of the package and noticed there were only three ingredients: Corn, corn oil, and salt. I liked that. I hate it when there's 15 ingredients in something that should be really simple. Anyway, I opened up my bag of Corn Nuts and sampled them. They were pretty good -- And not too crunchy at all. I ate about 2/3 of my 4oz bag and thoroughly enjoyed myself throughout. I saved the remainder of the bag and look forward to eating the rest in the near future.
Ranch Corn Nuts From 4th Grade: D
2/3 Bag of Original Corn Nuts From a Couple Days Ago: A-

3am Snack

2006-09-16T16:11:00.000-04:00

Late last night I had a long journey ahead of me. I was at a party in a part of town that's far away from where I live. Additionally, I had a bit of a walk to get to the proper subway stop. A light mist was in the air as I left the party. I made my way through the damp streets, contemplating the lengthy subway trip in my near future.

All of a sudden, about two blocks from the subway entrance, I realized that I was extremely hungry. I thought about what I might have to eat at such a late hour. There was pizza certainly, but it was out of the way and would leave me feeling queasy from too much grease. Then I remembered a little 24 grocery store up ahead.

I imagined myself going in and purchasing a small bag of Kettle Chips. I considered what flavor I might purchase. I love sea salt and vinegar, but I can tire of it after a few chips. I also like New York cheddar and herb, but I too frequently get those. Not wanting to be stuck in a rut, I made up my mind to purchase the goat cheese and roasted red pepper variety.

I walked into the store. As I passed the front counter I spotted, a ways back, a shelf brimming with potato chips of all descriptions. I headed for them. Now, I don't know exactly how it happened, but at some point I became aware of a refrigerated case to my left. Halfway to the potato chip shelf I stopped in my tracks. I took a closer look at the refrigerated case. It contained many things including, but not limited too, hummus, freshly cut fruit, salads, and preprepared sandwiches.

I was about to continue on my way, but something about the preprepared sandwiches made me hesitate. I decided to peruse the various kinds. They were all on organic 7 grain bread and many of them were meatless. I noticed a meatless "chicken" salad sandwich. Next to it I noticed a meatless "turkey" salad sandwich. After a moment I gave the "turkey" salad sandwich a poke. It didn't seem too mushy, a common pitfall of preprepared sandwiches. I picked it up and flipped it over to see the price tag. $3.49. Not too bad, I thought. I looked over the ingredients. They sounded pretty good. I glanced sheepishly in the direction of the chips before making my hasty way, sandwich in hand, to the front counter.

The employee behind the counter rang me up and I left the store, excited to try my newly acquired sandwich. Within seconds I had succeeded in removing the plastic wrap around my sandwich. I paused before taking the first bite. Something was amiss. I suddenly remembered that preprepared sandwiches are awful. I recalled with bitter clarity a number of similar sandwiches I had previously eaten. I remembered stale bread. I remembered wilted lettuce. I remembered amorphous masses of sandwich fixings, oozing with suspect mayonnaise. I grimaced at the recollection of other first bites into these kinds of sandwiches. I held the sandwich at my lips, as if it was suspended in time, not sure how to proceed.

Throwing caution to the wind I took a bite and to my immense surprise it was good. The bread was fresh and tasty, the Chinese cabbage was crispy, and the "turkey" salad itself was, if not a masterpiece, light and pleasantly spicy. I eagerly took another bite and found it equally satisfying. I reached the subway entrance.

As I descended the stairs to the platform I ate the remaining bites of the sandwich and reflected upon my good fortune.

Preprepared Meatless "Turkey" Sandwich: B+

Grilled Cheese at Junior's

2006-09-12T13:06:00.000-04:00

I went to Junior's yesterday with a former girlfriend of mine.  Almost every time I've been there I get seated at the exact same table and this time was no different.  I commented on this phenomenon to my former girlfriend and she agreed that it was odd, as there are many tables in the establishment.

I took a swig of my water, which arrived seconds after we were seated, and cracked open the menu.  As I looked over the options I noticed that the grilled cheese sandwich was available, upon request, with cheddar cheese rather than American cheese.  This was pretty appealing to me because I love grilled cheese sandwiches, but I do not like American cheese.  Our waiter arrived and we placed our orders.  I was very careful to mention that I wanted my grilled cheese with cheddar.  Our order complete, the waiter disappeared.  I set about drinking my water, eyeing but not eating the complimentary bread which had arrived at our table, and conversing with my former girlfriend.

She had ordered mozzarella sticks and these arrived within a few minutes.  She asked if I wanted to split them.  I said no thanks, I'd have enough melted cheese soon enough, but I said that I would sample one.  I moved my mozzarella stick from the plate on which they came to a smaller plate in front of me.  I tried it and I have to say that, to me, a mozzarella stick is a mozzarella stick.  It was fine I guess, but I don't see why people get excited about them.  The primary taste seems to be deep fried.  As a side note, my former girlfriend hates cheese, but loves mozzarella sticks.  I find this to be bewildering and wrongheaded.

A few more minutes past and the rest of our food arrived.  As soon as my plate was set down in front of me I could see that I had not received cheddar on my sandwich as requested.  I was about to protest, but our waiter was already speeding away.  I looked down at my sandwich, dismayed.

I ate a french fry absentmindedly.  I looked at my sandwich.

As long as it was sitting in front of me I might as well eat it, I thought to myself as I reached for the ketchup.  I poured a large pool of ketchup onto my plate and proceeded to drown each bite of my sandwich in it.  I will admit that despite the American cheese the sandwich wasn't all bad.  It was crispy and the bread was alright.  Also, I also enjoyed my french fries well enough.

My former girlfriend had ordered the "Something Different", which consisted of beef brisket sandwiched between potato pancakes with apple sauce on the side.  I tried a bite of a potato pancake with some applesauce and thought it was pretty good.

All in all I did not enjoy Junior's as much as I have on previous visits.  Still, in general, I like the place a lot and I don't want to discourage anyone from going there.

Grilled Cheese Sandwich if You Like American Cheese: B-
Grilled Cheese Sandwich if You Don't Like American Cheese: D
Getting American Cheese When Cheddar Was Specifically Requested: F
French Fries: B+
Mozzarella Sticks: C+
Liking Mozzarella Sticks, but Not Cheese: D-
Bite of Potato Pancake w/ Applesauce: A-
Overall Experiance: C-

Caprese Sandwich

2006-09-08T17:04:00.000-04:00

The other day I was having some coffee outside Cafe Regular with a friend of mine who is a police officer. As we finished our coffee I mentioned that I was pretty hungry. He said that although he was not too hungry, he wouldn't mind going along and getting a snack. I mused that I wanted to try someplace that I hadn't been before. My friend thought about this for a moment and then suggested that we head up to this Italian deli on 7th Ave. and 9th Street. He spoke of a caprese sandwich that, while a bit pricy, was great.

We walked the few blocks up to the place, the name of which I can't recall. Outside was a sign advertising that any sandwich with a can of soda was eight dollars. Depending on the sandwich, eight dollars didn't sound too steep. We stepped inside. The place was had a big cheese case, many kinds of pasta, and about thirty bowls of various things swimming in olive oil including olives, sundried tomatoes, and stuffed peppers of various kinds. I stepped up to the counter and the guy behind it asked what I wanted, but, oddly, seemed to be looking behind me. I don't just mean that he wasn't making eye contact with me, I mean that he seemed to be looking at someone in particular. I looked behind me, but no one was there.

"What'll you have?" he repeated as I turned back to face him. I tried to make eye contact to confirm it was me that he was talking to, but he continued to look past me.

"Me?" I finally asked.

"Yes," he responded as if it were an absurd question.

I ordered the caprese sandwich and he nodded, still seemingly looking at someone other than me. I looked over at my friend to see if he had noticed the interaction, but he was busy selecting a loaf of bread to purchase. I turned my attention to the drink cooler. The sign outside had offered a free can of soda and, as I perused the options, I wondered if by "can" the sign specifically meant a can or if the offer extended to bottles as well. It turned out not to be an issue because I spotted cans of San Pellegrino Limonata, one of my all-time favorite drinks. Still, I wondered if the sign referred only to the cans soda on the top row of the cooler, which were all things like Coke and Sprite. I wondered if, when I grabbed my drink of choice, I would be advised by an employee that I had not selected one included in the sign's offer. I mentioned this train of thought to my friend and he suggested that I play it safe and wait until I had received my sandwich so that I could grab my soda on my way out.

A minute later my sandwich was ready. I gave the guy eight dollars and he gave me a bag with my sandwich. I peered inside the bag and saw that that sandwich was huge. It came on an entire baguette. Although I couldn't see the nature of the contents, as it was wrapped in white paper, my hopes were running high. I grabbed my soda, quickly put it into the bag with the sandwich, and stepped outside, followed by my friend, who had just purchased his bread. At this point we split up and I went home to eat my sandwich.

Upon arrival back at my apartment I took a seat at the peninsula in my kitchen. Another friend of mine, the one whose cookies I ate about a month ago, was also seated at the peninsula typing away on his computer. He paused for a moment to look skeptically on as I unwrapped my sandwich. As he went back to typing I knew I was about to eat an amazing sandwich. It was piled high with fresh mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes, roasted red peppers, and basil. I ate the first half of the sandwich and found it to be just as good as it looked and twice as filling. Having learned my lesson from the donut incident I called it quits at this point. I refrigerated the remaining half of the sandwich. Upon further reflection I would say that nearly everything about the sandwich was great, except for the bread which, though plentiful, was only pretty good.

Caprese Sandwich: A
Bread Used: B+
The Guy Who Made the Caprese Sandwich Not Looking at Me: C+
Overall Experience: A-

Bow Tie Donut

2006-09-05T14:45:00.000-04:00

I was walking home with a friend of mine yesterday after having eaten a large meal at Bonnie's Grill. As we walked along 3rd Avenue in Brooklyn we passed a Dunkin' Donuts/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut. I wasn't hungry at all, in fact I was overly full, but the smell of donuts overwhelmed me. It was so good that, in spite of knowing that I would feel sick if I ate a donut, I proposed just that to my friend. He agreed that a donut sounded great. It was late at night so we could not enter the establishment. Instead we walked up to the drive-through window. My friend ordered a coconut donut and I ordered a "bow tie". Having procured our donuts we continued on our way back home. I ate mine very quickly because it was delicious -- Imagine a cinnamon twist without the cinnamon. But my happiness was not meant to last. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows! The instant I ate the last bite of my donut I felt too full by half. I waddled home dejected and spent the rest of the night lamenting my poor decision. Why would I eat a donut when I was already too full? Why couldn't I resist? I don't know. I don't know the answers to these questions.

Bow Tie Donut: A-
Eating Bow Tie Donut While Already Full: F
Overall Experience: D

Salad Days

2006-09-02T22:01:00.000-04:00

Today, while at work, I decided I wanted a salad. I hadn't purchased a takeout salad in the area before so I wasn't sure where to go. Someone told me that The Pita Pit made salads, but I hate the cartoon vegetable decorations in that place so much that the chances of me enjoying any food from there are almost zero. One time I got some falafel from there and rather than focusing on eating I was preoccupied by the dumb looking anthropomorphized stalk of celery I had seen minutes before.

Giving The Pita Pit a wide berth as I passed, I walked down the street to the Here and Now Deli. I breezed by their counter to the cold case where I perused the salad options, of which there were two. Option number one involved croutons and looked like a Caesar salad to me. Option number two had miscellaneous toppings on it like onions, olives, blue cheese, and carrot shavings. I decided on option number two, which I had to ask for, as the cold case was accessible only to employees. The employee asked which I wanted and I pointed. "Caesar?" the employee asked. "No, this one," I replied. "Caesar?" the employee repeated. "Ahhh..." I said. The employee reached in and pulled out the one I had pointed to. I nodded, perplexed, but glad that I would be getting the salad I wanted. I was then asked what kind of dressing I wanted, to which I said, "Blue cheese."

$3.99 later (plus tax) I got the salad back to work. I sat down and opened up the container. It was stacked high, I'll give it that, but I immediately had misgivings. I hadn't seen the salad close-up when I purchased it. Now, upon more careful scrutinization, several problems were evident. The cherry tomatoes were wrinkled, the olives had left little pools of olive juice on the pieces of lettuce where they sat, several large carrot shavings looked slimy, and much of the lettuce had browning edges. Still, the blue cheese dressing looked good and was plentiful.

After removing some of the most suspect looking tomatoes and pieces of lettuce, I poured the dressing on in liberal quantities. My first bite consisted of a large piece of lettuce and a green olive, both well covered with dressing. It was alright. Not great, but alright. Next I tried a carrot shaving, which, while they looked slimy, tasted REALLY slimy. I promptly removed the remaining carrot shavings from the salad. I then worked my way through about 2/3 of the salad. The best bite came at this point. I encountered a lone black olive under a piece of lettuce. I don't know what it was doing there, but it tasted pretty good. With a few unlikely looking pieces of lettuce remaining I decided to call it quits.

In retrospect I probably shouldn't obtain salads from mediocre delis and I certainly won't be purchasing any more salads from the Here and Now Deli. I might go there later to get a chocolate bar though.

Salad from Here and Now Deli: D+
Slimy Carrots: F-
The One Black Olive I Found: B-
Overall Experience: D

Bings

2006-09-01T16:59:00.000-04:00

I went to Chicago about two weeks ago and when I came back a place called Roll & Dough had opened up near where I work. They sell bings, as a large sign outside proclaims. Despite the fact that I didn’t have any idea what a bing was I decided to give the place a shot. Well, let me tell you, bings are amazing. Apparently they're a popular kind of street food in China. What you have is bread covered in sesame seeds and then filled with various things. So far I’ve tried the regular vegetarian, hot and sour vegetable, and sweet red bean. There are many other kinds available, especially if you eat meat. They also have steamed buns, dumplings, soups, and noodles. The best part of the whole thing is that the bings are only $1.50 or $1.75 each. Are you kidding me? This is the greatest thing that’s happened to me all week.

Bings from Roll & Dough: A+

Utz Bar-B-Q Flavored Potato Chips

2006-09-01T16:25:00.000-04:00

The other day I purchased a 25-cent bag of Utz brand Bar-B-Q flavored potato chips. At the time I purchased them I had recently eaten another very salty snack, but I purchased them anyway because they caught my eye when I was at the counter of my local corner store. I got the chips home and cracked them open. After about ten chips, which I only moderately enjoyed, I started to feel like I never wanted to taste salt again. I was then faced with a problem. On the one hand I still had about ten more perfectly good chips remaining in the bag (as well as a few smaller pieces and crumbs), but on the other hand it seemed absurd to save half of a 25-cent bag of mediocre chips. In the end I decided to save them for later. They are still in my cupboard right now, unless someone else ate them. Maybe tonight I’ll be hungry for a very light snack and I will be glad I didn’t discard the remaining chips.

The 10 Chips I Ate a Couple Nights Ago: C+
Too Many Salty Snacks: D
Projected Grade for Remaining Chips: C-

I Stole Three of My Friend's Chips Ahoy! Cookies

2006-07-26T16:54:00.000-04:00

So this friend of mine is staying at my house and the other day he bought a package of Chips Ahoy! brand chocolate chip cookies. When he first opened them I asked if I could have one and he said yes. I ate one of his cookies at that time. It was too crunchy and the chocolate tasted kind of funny to me, but overall it was okay. Anyway, later on my friend was asleep and, having no cookies of my own, I decided to help myself to one of his. Somehow this time it tasted way better. I then took two more and enjoyed those just as much. I thought about taking a fourth cookie, but in the end I decided not to. I feel a little guilty, but I might take some more when I get home tonight. As a side note, all this talk about stealing reminds me of wooden nickels which reminds me that, for novelty's sake, I think I would take a wooden nickel.

The First Chips Ahoy! Cookie: C-
The Three Stolen Chips Ahoy! Cookies: B-
Feeling Guilty About Stealing Cookies: C
Overall Experience: C+

2006's Worst Sandwich

2006-07-25T18:48:00.000-04:00

I just ate a sandwich consisting of bread, frozen Pathmark brand Seasoned Fries (heated up in a toaster oven), relish, mustard, mayonnaise, and hot sauce. I prepared this not because I suspected that it might be good, but because there was nothing else to eat. It was disgusting. The worst part was that the seasoned fries had been in the freezer for at least six months and were really freezer burned. Despite all the crap I put on them I could taste the freezer burn. I can still taste it. This is the worst sandwich I've had in a long time. For awfulness, it beats the Swiss cheese on burnt toast by a mile. Not only did it taste bad, but it made me feel like never eating again for fear that I might taste something like this.

Seasoned Fries Sandwich: F

Chex Mix Brand Snack: Bold Party Blend

2006-07-02T12:50:00.000-04:00

I just purchased a 6oz package of Chex Mix Brand Snack in the Bold Party Blend flavor. I only purchased this flavor because the CVS where this item was purchased did not offer the Peanut Lovers' variety. In fact, almost no place offers the Peanut Lovers' variety. I don't understand. This is the best kind of Chex Mix! There are many peanut lovers in the world, myself included, who would jump at the chance to purchase something with so many peanuts in it. Anyway, they didn't have it, and so I bought Bold Party Blend instead. I opened it up a few minutes ago and it's okay, but I don't see what's so bold about it. It tastes pretty much like regular Chex Mix to me. I was expecting it to be spicy or something. The only difference I can detect is that there are "snack crackers" included in this version. If anything, I think this makes the mix less bold because these crackers are sort of like Mini Ritz, only they have a weird stale texture. I guess another difference is that this flavor tastes saltier and monosodium glutamatier than regular Chex Mix, but that seems totally unnecessary and does not add to the boldness. Finally, the name of this flavor suggests that it would be good to have at a party. I don't understand what's more party appropriate about Bold Party Blend than any other type of Chex mix. To make a long story short, I just don't see the point of having this flavor.

I Can't Say No to French Fries

2006-06-27T14:37:00.000-04:00

Every time I go to someplace that has french fries as a side item on offer I just can't say no! Even if I know they're going to be crappy or make me feel bad I can't say no. Even if I'm getting something like a grilled cheese sandwich, which already has plenty of grease I can't say no. The other day I went to this place in my neighborhood called Jack's. I ordered up a fresh mozzarella sandwich with sun dried tomatoes and pesto. I ordered this because I wanted to get something sort of healthful, but when the waiter asked if I wanted a salad or fires with that, do you know what I said? "Fries, please," is what I said. I just pictured the fries and pictured the salad and I had to get the fries. Maybe I do it because at restaurants there's usually ketchup bottles sitting on the tables in plain sight. Maybe I see the ketchup and remember how much I like ketchup and then remember that I can only use the ketchup if I order french fries. Another factor is that I usually don't like salads unless they're made out of things that look like weeds and have things like goat cheese, fennel, capers and in them. I have to admit that I also like salad bars, but that's only because I can make an all topping salad, which I love. Anyway, I'd like to think that next time I'm faced with the salad or fries decision I'll order the salad, but I'm pretty sure that I'll go with the fries.

I Love a Good Egg Salad Sandwich

2006-06-14T12:19:00.000-04:00

As I said in the headline of this post, I love a good egg salad sandwich and that's exactly what I had yesterday at Junior's. Junior's is a restaurant known for cheesecake located on the corner of Flatbush and DeKalb in Brooklyn, NY. The decor looks to have stopped evolving sometime in the late 1960's. Now, I'm always a little cautious when ordering an egg salad sandwich for fear that a bad egg salad sandwich might poison me. However, I put this fear aside and decided that if anyplace would have a good and non-poisonous egg salad sandwich it would be Junior's. I was right. There was plenty of egg salad and a little lettuce between two slices of rye bread. Brilliant. I loved it. Maybe it wasn't the best egg salad sandwich of all time, and it certainly wasn't groundbreaking in any way, but I wanted a delicious plain egg salad sandwich on rye and I got a delicious plain egg salad sandwich on rye . Afterwards I felt great, rather than poisoned. Also, every table is provided with a bowl of pickles, which I enjoyed.

Egg Salad Sandwich: A-
Not Being Poisoned by Egg Salad Sandwich: A+
Bowl of Pickles: A-
Decor at Junior's: A+
Overall Experience: A

Plain Slice of Pizza

2006-06-09T21:03:00.000-04:00

I was really hungry as I walked to the subway from a friend's house this afternoon so I decided to grab a slice of pizza at a standard neighborhood pizza place. I ordered up a plain slice at the cost of $1.90. An odd, but fair price it seemed to me. At this point I had an internal debate that I frequently have when ordering pizza. The issue is this: The guy sticks your slice in the oven to warm it up, but it usually ends up scalding hot. I always wonder if I should mention that I'd like it just warmed up a bit, but not too much. The problem is that this request often leads to confusion.

"Not warmed up?" the pizza man often asks.

"No, no," I often explain, "I do want it warmed up, just not really hot."

About half of the time things work out and I end up with a nice warm slice of pizza. The other half of the time I give up once it seems too complicated and end up feeling bad for confusing the guy in addition to having a scalding hot slice of pizza. In any case, I decided not to mention it today because this particular pizza man didn't seem to speak English very well.

After about a minute the guy got my pizza out of the oven and handed it to me on a paper plate. I took it and thanked him. I walked over to the things to sprinkle on pizza counter and looked over my choices. This is something else I am troubled by. For one thing there's usually one shaker jar that's empty and for another you almost always you have to ask for the Parmesan. I like to shake pepper flakes, oregano, and Parmesan onto my pizza. I was in luck in regards to the first two. The pepper flakes and the oregano were there, on these weird chains like pens at a bank, but they were there. However, as expected, the Parmesan was not. I don't understand the reason for this. Are they afraid that it might be stolen? Are they afraid it would go bad? Is it more expensive than the other toppings and they are therefor trying to conserve it? Whatever the reason it's rarely there and I hate asking for it. I always feel like the guy behind the counter thinks I'm trying to scam him or get more than I paid for or something. So this afternoon I did not ask for the Parmesan.

I walked out of the place, pizza in hand, and began once again to walk towards the subway. I could feel through my paper plate that my pizza was too hot and so let it cool down for a couple of blocks. As I got to the park that I go through for a shortcut I decided to give the pizza a try. I took a little bite. It seemed to be a good temperature so I took another bite. The second bite was too hot. I guess the little tip of the pizza that was hanging off the edge of my plate must have cooled faster than the rest of it. As I passed a trash can I threw away that little paper that they put between the pizza and the plate. I hate that thing. It's totally pointless and it's always flopping around under my pizza and it's also wasteful. I think it's supposed to protect your plate from grease, but there wasn't that much grease dripping off my slice and if there was I don't see how that piece of paper would make much of a difference.

Anyway, once my pizza was at an acceptable temperature I ate it and it wasn't very good. I won't say it was bad exactly, but it wasn't good either. I'll admit that the sauce was okay. Still, a big negative was that despite being slightly burnt on parts of the bottom it was a little squishy elsewhere. I ate the whole thing and was left feeling unsatisfied.

Plain Slice of Pizza from Neighborhood Pizza Place: C-
Initial Pizza Temperature: D
No Parmesan on the Counter: D
Overall Experience: D+

Mexican Omelet Burrito

2006-06-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

I had a Mexican omelet burrito from this place called Castro's for lunch today. I have had this same item many times from this same place. It is delicious. In fact, it's so delicious that I am rendered incapable of knowing when enough is enough. The thing is that the Mexican omelet burrito is huge. Way too huge to eat the whole thing. Today I ate almost the whole thing because I was enjoying it so much. I stopped with a couple bites left because I was starting to feel unpleasantly full. I wish I had only eaten about 75% of what I did eat, because then I would have still been enjoying myself afterwards rather than feeling a little sick. The thing is that I can't help it. How can you stop eating something that's so delicious?

Mexican Omelet Burrito: A
Amount Eaten: C
Overall Experience: A-

Too Much Hummus

2006-06-07T15:55:00.000-04:00

Not enough pita bread. That was the problem with the hummus and pita bread that I got from The Hummus Place this afternoon. The hummus was really good and it came with these little pickles that I liked, but by the time I was about two thirds done with my hummus I was out of pita. I've had this problem before when I purchased hummus and pita from the same establishment. I was very careful this time to be conservative in my use of the pita so as to stretch it out as much as possible. Seemingly I either had more hummus than previously or I wasn't being as conservative in my pita use as I thought. I ran out of pita at the exact same place as before. In addition to the pickles I mentioned earlier there was also a chunk of onion as a side item. I tried dipping pieces of onion into the hummus once I was out of pita, but that proved to be not so good. I tried eating a bite or two of just the hummus with the provided fork. That also was not so good, mostly for texture reasons. Next time I guess I'll order an extra pita, though I hesitate to because it costs more.

Hummus: A
Pita: B+
Hummus to Pita Ratio: D
Overall Experience: B-

Yogurt and Grape-Nuts

2006-06-01T13:14:00.000-04:00

For breakfast today I had a 6 oz. cup of Stonyfield Farm's All Natural fat free strawberry yogurt. I also had some Grape-Nuts, which I put into the yogurt. It turned out pretty good. At first I poured a few Grape-Nuts in prior to mixing the strawberry part into the main yogurt. This was good, but not sweet enough. I mixed the yogurt up and continued to add Grape-Nuts as I went. All in all I really enjoyed this combination due to the contrast in textures between the Grape-Nuts and the yogurt.

Yogurt and Grape-Nuts: A-

Just So You Know

2006-05-26T09:39:00.000-04:00

Ulysses S. Grant's favorite breakfast food was a cucumber soaked in vinegar.

I Drank Some Tea and Now I Have a Funny Taste in My Mouth

2006-05-26T00:44:00.000-04:00

I went up to the corner store to get something to drink just a little while ago. I went from cooler case to cooler case, hoping something would catch my eye, but no luck. I considered getting some juice, but I hate it when juice has "natural flavors" in it. Finally I got a 23.5 oz. can of Arizona Brand Sun Brewed Style Iced Tea. This drink has "natural lemon flavor" in it, which I don't like, but I got it anyway. I went home, cracked it open, and settled in for an episode of MTV's "Next". The first half of the tea was good, but then, about halfway through, I noticed a weird metallic flavor in my mouth. I smelled the tea. This provided no clue. I took another sip. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed like the metallic flavor was coming from the tea. I drank some water to try to rinse the taste away. This did nothing. I've brushed my teeth several times since then as well drinking several more glasses of water. I still have a metallic taste in my mouth and, if anything, it's worse now than it was.

First Half of 23.5 oz. Can of Arizona Sun Brewed Style Iced Tea: B
Metallic Taste: F
Overall Experience: D-

Swiss on Burnt Toast

2006-05-25T13:48:00.000-04:00

While I was writing my previous post my toast burned. I used it anyway. I put some crappy Swiss cheese, relish, mustard, mayonnaise, and ketchup on it. All in all it was pretty bad. All those condiments couldn't hide an essentially trouble ridden base. I ate it anyway, so I can't give it an F.

Swiss on Burnt Toast: D

Things I Am About to Eat

2006-05-25T13:34:00.000-04:00

I am currently toasting some bread. It is Arnold Brand 12 Grain. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to put on it. I may put cheddar and pepper on it. I may put Swiss, relish, mustard, and ketchup on it. Some people might think that's gross, but not me. I think it's good. I'll let everyone know what I decided in a little bit.

I Have All This Cheese, But Nothing to Put It On

2006-05-24T12:07:00.000-04:00

So I have all of this great cheese, but I have no bread and no crackers. I guess I'm going to need to go to the store. Maybe when I'm there I will buy other things as well. More than likely the store in question will be Eagle Provisions.

Nutrageous Candy Bar

2006-05-24T11:48:00.000-04:00

At about 9pm yesterday I had a Reese's Nutrageous candy bar. This is my favorite candy bar because I feel that all the ingredients work in concert to create a nearly perfect candy bar experience. I remember the first time I had one was when one arrived in the daily mail along with some related literature. I was 12 or 13 years old and I think Nutrageous must have been new at the time. I was initially skeptical of a candy bar that would need to be advertised by sending it to people in the mail, but I went ahead and tried it anyway. The rest is history. I only have one complaint and that is that this candy bar is always crumbly. I sometimes want one, but don't get one because it is so crumbly. I understand that it's just the way it has to be, but still it gives me pause when saying that Nutrageous is the best candy bar.

Nutrageous Candy Bar: A
Crumbliness: C-
Overall Experience: B+

Some Crappy Bagel From Some Crappy Deli

2005-06-19T21:08:00.000-04:00

I walked into some crappy deli near the IFC Center and got a bagel with cream cheese. I guess it wasn't the worst bagal I've ever had, but it was pretty bad. Not nearly toasted enough, not enough seseme seeds, and kind of weird and squishy in texture. It did have the right amount of cream cheese, but it still was not at all what I was hoping for.

Bagal: C-

The Nile Falafel Inc.

2005-06-18T01:17:00.000-04:00

140 W. 4th Street (in Manhattan)

It was just a little after four in the afternoon when I went into The Nile Falafel Inc., a place I've been a few times before. I had been at work all day and had not eaten anything since the toasted cheese sandwich (see previous blog). I stepped up to the counter of this somewhat dingy little establishment and told the man that I would like a falafel sandwich with hummus. This item was handed over to me in about two minutes. The price? $3.50. As I exited with my to-go bag I knew that I had something to look forward to.

I decided to head for the nearby park to eat. The area near the entrance to the park was a bit crowded so I decided to venture further in. I passed a girl sitting on a bench and noticed she was giving me a strange look. I slowed down to see if this was someone I knew and had just decided that it was not when she gave me a big smile and shouted, "Hey! Hi! How are you doing?" Clearly this person knew me; unfortunately I had no idea who she was. Of course I pretended that I did and returned her greeting. "Wow it's good to see you," she said. I said that it was good to see her too. Apparently she liked my sweater, is moving to Canada and getting married, spent the last year "just sort of wandering around and being a gypsy", is considering going back to school, and thought it was so weird to run into me in New York. I hope it all works out for whoever she may be. As for my falafel, it remained uneaten through this interaction. That was soon to change though, as I told her I was on my way to buy a CD during my break from work (not true). I said goodbye and made my way out of the park.

I ate my falafel as I took the long way around a few blocks back to work. The sandwich was really good. Good falafel, ample vegetables, good tahini, and great hummus. The only debit was the pita, which was a little dry. All in all it was really enjoyable. I walked back into work bewildered by my conversation with this girl, but no longer hungry.

Falafel: A-

Just So You Know

2005-06-17T22:21:00.000-04:00

Squirrel Nut Zippers are a candy as well as a band.

Toasted Cheese Sandwich

2005-06-17T06:47:00.000-04:00

I was really hungry at about 3am and so I made a half of a toasted cheese sandwich. This was done with Matthew's All Natural Honey 12 Grain Bread and Land O' Lakes Extra Sharp Cheddar. I put it in my toaster oven until it was lightly toasted. As a dip I used PathMark brand ketchup next to Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard. The ketchup bottle was one of those plastic squeeze ones and it was almost out. That kind of sucked. I'm going to need more ketchup soon. Overall the sandwich was alright. It wasn't quite toasted enough and I didn't really sit down to eat it. I sort of milled around in the kitchen and ate the whole thing in five or six bites. It reminded me that I need to get a frying pan so I can make a real grilled cheese sandwich. I don't think I should have eaten this sandwich so late at night now that I think about it.

Sandwich: B
Eating this sandwich really late at night: D+
Ketchup bottle being nearly empty: D-
Not having a frying pan: F
Overall experience: C-